Nearly Decapitated Today at Rooster

castaneda87 · Joined: 25 Mar 2001 Posts: 10

I was sailing my funboard today at Rooster, minding my own business, when I spotted a kiter (or is it kiteboarder) heading directly at me. I expected it to raise his kite to allow me passage, but I soon realized the shimmering lines were headed for my neck. I bailed before the razor tight lines could sever my not ready for the other side head. As the kiter passed and I gasped for air, he yelled something which sounded like "get out of my way windsurfer, this is kiter territory now...I caught a glimpse of his weathered face and realized it was a former pole boarder that had succumb to the dark side....[/quote]

isobars · Joined: 12 Dec 1999 Posts: 20935

Go to his vehicle. Look on top of his rear tire or inside his bumper. Open his car, eat his lunch, and strangle his dog. Shit on the driver's seat, put a cherry bomb in the shit, and light it. Send his car over the embankment onto the river bed. Then gather some fellow WSers and put him in the hospital when he comes ashore ... if he can come ashore at all despite the rain of big rocks pelting him every time he gets in range. He'll be an easy target whether climbing the stairs or the embankment beside them. Let him crawl to the nearest phone booth -- I think there's still one outside Powell's Book Store -- and call an ambulance. Meanwhile, phone his wife and mother and inform them that if his legs can be saved and he ever does anything like that again, they won't see him again.

At that point I'd call it equal and give him one more chance to step from the primordial ooze into the human race.

OTOH, if his name is Benito (or Mark), he's had all the chances he deserves.

westender · Joined: 02 Aug 2007 Posts: 1288 Location: Portland / Gorge

That guy sounds like a real Kook. I would expect former windsurfing kiters to be safe and yield when necessary. If you could hear what he said, that's really close.

He should have been upstream in the 12" butter.

surfersteve · Joined: 24 Apr 2007 Posts: 203

Wow Iso. When I have thoughts like that I feel like a lunatic. When you write it the words make complete sense.

castaneda87 · Joined: 25 Mar 2001 Posts: 10

To clarify, the incident with the Kiter did happen. For a split second I feared for my life. But if you read my original post carefully, you can tell that I wrote it in jest after a few beers.

The kiter is a good windsurfing buddy of mine and as he explained it, he was avoiding another kiter when he lowered his lines in front of me. Since I bailed and used my sail as a shield, I'm not sure how close the lines came, but he tells me it wasn't very close. Yes he yelled at me when I surfaced from under my sail, but what he said was colored by the huge grin on his face.

Rooster is a crowded place on a warm easterly day, but most of the time, we stay our of each others way.

isobars · Joined: 12 Dec 1999 Posts: 20935

The problem with stupid rants like that is that if I ever actually did anything like that, this would establish premeditation. But they're fun, and they express what I (and no doubt many of us) feel like doing to so-called "people" like that. Presuming it happened only once, I'd be much more likely to just call the sheriff and have him busted for ADW if I had any proof, as the guy had when Benito deliberately rammed him at Roosevelt.

Barring proof ... where are his danged keys?

isobars · Joined: 12 Dec 1999 Posts: 20935

westender · Joined: 02 Aug 2007 Posts: 1288 Location: Portland / Gorge

I read that before and after drinking and was fooled by your comments both times.

ascott72 · Joined: 12 Jun 2006 Posts: 124

Written in jest? That is not clear from a quick read of the original post and the title is still out there on the forum list. Are there any real safety issues worth discussing here? If not, there is no need to stoke conflict between windsurfers and kiters. Can I suggest getting this thread deleted.