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b0101_spread
Joined: 10 Aug 2008 Posts: 2
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Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 12:09 pm Post subject: TALK LIKE A WINDSURFER |
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Now you don't even need to get wet (or even know how to do the sport) to be a windsurfer. Just stand on the beach with arms crossed and talk like this. You can now hang with the best of em!
You can also use these opening lines, prefixes, and comments to not pick up windsurfing women.
1) Dude; ________________________________
2) What sail are you rigging?
3) I ______________ I ___________________ my_______________ I ________ I _______
4) We have to work on your ________________________
5) That's not even sailing!
6) No wind out there.
7) In the 70's we _________________________
8.) You missed it.
9) My god that's a big board. What is it, a 120? I'll bet you can plane in
5knots; _______________
10) I used to _______________________
11) Back in the day it was ___________________________
12) We used to ___________________________
13) It used to be ____________________________
14) In the good old days we ________________________________
15) I could ________________________________
16) My friend used to be ______________________________
17) A long time ago _______________________________________
18.) I did that ______________________________
19) I once was ___________________________
20) When we were younger ___________________________
21) I'm dialed in ________________________________
22) You been out yet?
23) I'm tired.
24) Is it ever gonna pick up?
25) My trailer is __________________________________________
26) Is it blowing out east?
27) Five - oh.
28.) Hey, it's the liar from Portland!
29) Four - two
30) Dude, I really don't want to go to __________________________
31) No, I'm going home _______________________________
32) I can't today _______________________________
33) But I have to _________________________________
34) Not today, I __________________________________
35) I gotta be at _________________________________
36) Those damn beginners ________________________________
37) Those damn tourists ___________________________________
38.) I can sail better than him.
39) But I can do ______________________________________
40) I weigh 130 _____________________________
41) I weigh 140 _________________________________
42) I weigh 150 _________________________________
43) My buddy weighs 180 _________________________
44) I know someone who weighs 220 _________________________
45) If you can't use a 60 liter, you can't sail.
46) That's not the way to ____________________________
47) You're doing it wrong.
48.) My digestion and stool are right on today.
49) Brian says to _____________________________
50) Yeah, freestyle, whatever, but look how big their damn boards are. |
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isobars
Joined: 12 Dec 1999 Posts: 20935
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Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 12:47 pm Post subject: |
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51. Hi. I'm Isobars.
52. Great bikini. Can I watch you rig? |
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jsampiero
Joined: 20 Jun 2006 Posts: 677
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Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 1:11 pm Post subject: Re: TALK LIKE A WINDSURFER |
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OK, I'll bite - if only for entertainment's sake*
b0101_spread wrote: | Now you don't even need to get wet (or even know how to do the sport) to be a windsurfer. Just stand on the beach with arms crossed and talk like this. You can now hang with the best of em!
You can also use these opening lines, prefixes, and comments to not pick up windsurfing women.
1) Dude; can I block you in?
2) What sail are you rigging?
3) I think I' rig my 4.2 I really hate my 4.67.
4) We have to work on your steez, bro. It's not cool to use harness lines less than 37 inches
5) That's not even sailing!
6) No wind out there.
7) In the 70's we only had one size sail no matter how much wind there was.
8.) You missed it. The dawn patrol was sweet - I sailed the Hatch all alone for 2 hours.
9) My god that's a big board. What is it, a 100? I'll bet you can plane in
5knots;
10) I used to throw forwards.
11) Back in the day it was way windier - no global warming (due to internet forum hot air) has really screwed up the wind.
12) We used to *never* rig more than 4.5.
13) It used to be so much more fun.
14) In the good old days my dawn session ended at sunset.
15) I could jump over a barge back in the day.
16) My friend used to be smoke bruce peterson in every race.
17) A long time ago the hood river bridge only carried horse trolleys and pedestrians. And they still charged you 75 cents.
18.) I did the '84 Gorge Pro-Am.
19) I once was the first guy to sail ho'okipa - i told mike waltze about it.
20) When we were younger we'd drink all night and sail all day.
21) I'm dialed in on my priester built. post-1998 boards just don't work for me.
22) You been out yet?
23) I'm tired. Been sailing all day 5 days in a row.
24) Is it ever gonna pick up?
25) My trailer has a disco ball. You in?
26) Is it blowing out east? I hate doug's.
27) Five? oh.
28.) Hey, it's the liar from Portland!
29) Four-two is when windsurfing REALLY starts.
30) Dude, I really don't want to go to rowena. it's so choppy.
31) No, I'm going home - the wind'll be better tomorrow.
32) I can't today - internet forums are calling.
33) But I have to post on iwindsurf!
34) Not today, I tweaked my ankle on a flonch at the snatch yesterday.
35) I gotta be at rivershitty for ping pong.
36) Those damn beginners are kookin' up the jibatorium.
37) Those damn tourists are setting up their tripod right on the point.
38.) I can sail better than those guys who do flippy-spinny tricks- they can't even jibe!
39) But I can do pushies!
40) I weigh 130 _____________________________
41) I weigh 140 _________________________________
42) I weigh 150 _________________________________
43) My buddy weighs 180 _________________________
44) I know someone who weighs 220 _________________________
44.5 I weigh 240 - what should i rig?
45) If you can't use a fin the size of your palm, you can't sail.
46) That's not the way to pump. Ur doing it wrong.
47) You're doing it wrong. The boom is upside down.
48.) My digestion and stool are right on today. Anybody got some prunes?
49) Brian says to say hi to all the pretty canadian chicks on the beach
50) Yeah, freestyle, whatever, but look how big their damn boards are. You could push a barge with that thing. |
*Editor's note - all responses were tapped out .3 seconds or less (I can type 97 wpm at unflagging speeds for 17 hours a day, even if it's only blowing 7 knots.) This post is devoid of thought, planning, consideration towards others, actual knowledge of windsurfing technique, location, or equipment, and the poster bears no responsibility IRL for insults, admirations or other rejoinders made in the preceding lines. |
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jingebritsen
Joined: 21 Aug 2002 Posts: 3371
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Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 2:01 pm Post subject: |
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Pretty hilarious, mister. I'm jealous of your adventures. Tell me all about the 11'5 down along the coast breaks when you get a chance. Tuesday was the only day Fay kept me off the ocean. Tell me if you can rival Patrice's rides in this link. Cheers.
http://www.lbwindsurfing.com/wave-sailing/light-wind-wavesailing/ |
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anecak
Joined: 30 Jun 2003 Posts: 14
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Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 2:25 pm Post subject: |
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You forgot one:
"I'm a Gorge local and you tourists/Canadians/everybody else stay out of my way when I'm on a swell" |
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