Handicapped Kiter....

[jp5]

I worked for 3 years for a woman who had narcissistic personality disorder. This link describes her to a "T".

http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/dsm-iv.html

[nealpar]

JPBassking, I'm sorry for you if you were in the employ of a mentally disturbed person. Abuse in the employment arena is especially frustrating when a person is just trying to make an honest living.

Psychology is an interesting topic, so let me share with you an excerpt from an article about : ANGRY WHITE MEN. I have also had the misfortune of encountering such people in my life. I think women would find this article truly fitting, and men will find it eye opening and possibly instructive.

ANGRY WHITE MEN:

"You know the ones. Guys who can't stand women who are independent and self-aware? They hate them for having lives and minds of their own and seem to have this burning need to put them down and try to control them. Constantly. It seems maybe they're STILL pissed that women now have the right to vote, the ability to gain financial independence, and that they dare think for themselves. How DARE women try to be their own persons - how DARE they be allowed to live as a human being that is NOT (treated as) inferior to, controlled by, subjugated by, judged by, or dominated by a MAN (or men) in some way, shape or fashion.

These guys try to control or 'beat' women (verbally or otherwise) into some predetermined mold or use manipulative tactics to get "cooperation", wield control, and to "win" and to dominate over them, as if having a relationship (or a conflict or issue in a relationship) is some sort of competition they have to WIN at all costs. Along those same lines, men who treat a woman badly based on negative and erroneous preconcieved ideas about her or about women in general, destroying any potential or existing relationship with her by suffocating it inside a frame that doesn't fit the real picture of who or what she REALLY is as an individual, or what's actually going on in the relationship. This destroys their relationships - for obvious reasons.

Who's responsibility is it to decide who or what or how a woman IS or SHOULD be? OR what she might be upset about at any moment -- or if that upset is justified? Who defines HER? That definition belongs to her and her alone, not anyone else. Especially someone who doesn't even know her as well as she does, or at all. When a man tries to impose HIS (negative, demeaning or destructive) definition upon a woman or appoints himself judge of HER and HER feelings, this is an issue of control and dominance. It's about his "power over" her -- as opposed to her own "personal power". Many men do not LIKE women who exert their own PERSONAL POWER. It makes them feel insecure because it threatens their idea of themselves as superior to and dominant over women.


The best men I've known are those who do not try to "handle" or "control" women, no matter how long they've known them. There will never be a time when a man knows a woman as well as she knows herself - especially if she's upset about something. Which, more often than not, there's a damn good reason for -- as much as a man will try to convince her otherwise. And what makes this his parameter to define -- to dictate how another person feels, or should feel -- and why? Or to decide that she is an inferior human being to himself and therefore needs to be constantly reminded of that and treated accordingly? What self-respecting, self-aware, independent woman would put up with this? Plenty, it seems, because they're not aware of the AWM modus operandi and attitudes they're based on.


There's a whole movement of men out there who have a penchant for trying to control women and a whole slew of tactics they share and use to try to manipulate them, control them, keep them in their place, and let them know who's boss and who is superior - and to simultaneously get what they want out of them. Obedience, control, submissiveness, sex, maybe money if they can get it, and power over them - in some form or fashion. The power to decide who and what and how the woman IS and how she will be treated according to someone else's definitions and labels of her besides her own. (His). This is, by all definitions, CONTROLLING behavior and too many men are notorious for it.

A man who's always more interested in "winning" than anything else can have quite a large part in a woman just getting tired of that relationship and of his tactics. And WHAT is the guy winning in the end - unless winning is the sole objective? Most men with this "win at all costs" attitude will LOSE any relationship with a self-respecting independent woman - the kind of woman many men these days *claim* to want to have relationships with.



The implication seems to be: "Listen Little Woman - I'm brilliant and I'm superior to you and YOU will change YOUR behavior and YOUR expectations to fit in with MY rules and MY mold of how YOU ought to be, think, feel, be, and act in this relationship at all times!"

Oh REEEALLY?


And what about smart, independent, self-aware women? In reality, these guys don't really like that type of woman. Think: Hillary Clinton. There is no more hated woman in America today - especially by men. She defined herself and there's nothing they can do about it, whether they like it or not - whether they like HER or not. There you go.


I suppose womens' independence and intelligence does make it much harder for men to control, label, and predefine them, and for those insecure men bent on control, I can see why this would be an issue (for them).


The AWMs are very well-organized these days too, and their erroneous perceptions and indifference to women has spread like kudzu. Let me introduce to you The Angry White Men's Club


Why these types of guys want any type of relationship with any woman, even just sex, I can't understand. Why bother? Why not save themselves the trouble and "do it yourself" and leave women alone if they don't like or cannot accept women - and many of them can't. And when issues arise stemming from their anger, projection, blame and abuse of the women in their relationships - and there WILL BE issues if a woman with any self-esteem, intelligence or independence is involved - the A.W.M. "gotta control the hysterical bitch" modus operandi is put into action. Here are the tactics these men use:



1) Play the victim. Whine, insult, & criticize. Make damn sure she knows what an inferior being she is and how everything is HER fault. "Well I wouldn't do that to you if you weren't so __." "Well, I have to act that way because of the way you ___!" "You should feel sorry for me because I have to put up with you and your crap - that's why I abuse you - you drive me to it!" "I have to keep secrets from you because I can't tell you anything without you getting upset!" "You're lucky I bother to put up with you!" "You're insecure/lazy/narcissistic/TOO SENSITIVE/a bitch...and you need psychiatric help!" (she probably WILL by the time she's done putting up with all that projection and verbal abuse for very long - and NO woman should).



2) Deny, Invalidate - "It's all in your head". "You're just imagining things!" "You're just making shit up!" "Why are you bringing shit up that happened YEARS ago. It's not important to ME!" (?) "Why do you dwell on this stuff?" (DOH. Probably because it NEVER gets resolved in relationships with AWM types)



3) Blame the victim for being abused - "It's all YOUR fault - you bring it on yourself!" (see #1). "You ASK to be humilitated and yelled at in front of my friends and in public! You DESERVE it!"



4. Projection. He accuses HER of doing the same things HE is doing himself. Hypocritical finger-pointing. Projecting HIS own bad behavior and personality problems onto her then abusing her for it. This is a Republican tactic that particular political party is very good at. I suspect the majority of Republicans are members of NCFM - aka the Angry White Men's club - or at least subscribe to that same mentality. Whenever a woman hears "You're insecure!", "You're Paranoid!", "You're oversensitive!" and other "You're .....you...you...you!" BLAMING statements - that is most CERTAINLY projection.



5. Mocking. "Oh, I thought YOU were the computer expert around here!" (with superior sarcasm), "Oh, poor you, your're SUCH a victim!", "Are you being a little Princess?" "Well, there's a GOOD reason I blame YOU for everything, woman - because everything is always YOUR fault!" (with very serious and self-satisfied superiority). ALL OF THESE are outright examples of VERBAL ABUSE.



Particularly insidious are men who claim victimhood - they claim that they are punished and oppressed by the oh-so-unreasonable females (see #1 and #2). Woe is them. Then, when they abuse a woman (physically, verbally, or emotionally), and she complains about that abuse, he tells her SHE is "playing the victim". But he plays the victim role himself (see #1) and uses HIS OWN victim story as an excuse for his abusing her. It's a circular logic that's all too familiar. It's HER fault that he cannot handle his own anger, impatience, hostility, need for control, insecurity, and his need to treat her like an inferior human being in order to salve his insecurity about himself. He projects his own personality issues and bad behavior onto HER, blames her for them, and abuses HER because of them. Far too many men have their projection and their circular (blame the/play the) victim strategies down really well.



Some of these men even refer to rape as a "game" that they apparently resent was made illegal years ago, and they lament that while women are still allowed to "play games" with men, that men can no longer "play games" with (rape, abuse) women. It's JUST NOT FAIR is the claim. They insist they'd never play games with women (they just have ooodles of websites out there instructing each other how to do it) because the ones they're really like to play are illegal (and that's unfair in their opinion).



The utter hypocrisy and circular logic is head-spinning."

[isobars]

My wife was surprised when I responded to her question, "What do you like most about me?" with "Your willingness and ability to stand up to me and anyone else who gives you any crap." (That and her expertise earned her the very rare status of a CIVILIAN allowed to brief Pentagon generals directly.) Similarly, although I hate Hillary's politics, I wrote her a note of encouragement when she was being ostracized by a nation of AWM for proposing a national health care system as a mere First Lady. Ability trumps title when it comes to formulating ideas.

Handicapped kiters.

Mike \m/

[gregorvass]

Are you guys on glue?????????????

Who cares, where is the f.... wind!!!!!

[isobars]

Swell and The Wall, for starters ... with a few hundred of our closest friends. If I hadn't been hammered on a 4.7 just 19 hours ago, I'd be worried about it.

Mike \m/

[dabull1]

WOW!!! A public service announcement; there will be a meeting of the Angry White Men's Club this afternoon, or whenever the wind decides to blow, immediately following the White Angry Woman Club's Saturday Afternoon Men's Bash and Hormone Festival. Choice of refreshment will be your choice of glue, hemp products, and everclear. Both organizations will join following their respective events to sacrifice virgins, sex of your choice, to the dreaded Catalina Eddy, or Edie, depending on your point of reference. Thank you for your attention. AWMC, our motto... "Yes we ARE to blame for EVERYTHING!!!" Bull

[nealpar]

[windoggi]

Fortunately, a few REAL men do still exist


Thats for sure. When you think Alan Alda, you're thinking Windoggie.

[dabull1]

WOOF!!! Bull

[swchandler]

oh my goodness, we're all here at the precipice here now about the sexes because of a handicapped kiter. Wow, amazing! Who would have guessed.

Boy, I think SoCal needs some windy days to take the edge off.