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Hatch Lies 3 - The Resurrection
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b0101_spread



Joined: 10 Aug 2008
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 5:33 pm    Post subject: Hatch Lies 3 - The Resurrection Reply with quote

This list will have you pooing in your shorty out there in total fear. You will be humming Iron Butterfly's:

"Beach-get-ouda-da-way-now-bay-bay".

And like all good lists, ours goes to 11. Add your own (you too isobars). We're not asking you, we're telling you dammit!



1- I graduated to 'The Hatch' last year.

2- You don't need to be able to gybe! It's all good!

3- It's shallow on the far side! It's all good!

4- Your board is smaller than my dick.

5- I am fully capable of sailing 'The Hatch'.

6- 'The Hatch' is all dickheads.

7- It's o.k. to park here all day and not sail.

8- I launch off the rocks.

9- I only have a 3.2

10- Tried to go up there, but I was on my formula board.

11- We're going to Dougs.
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shlongone



Joined: 14 Jul 2008
Posts: 14

PostPosted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 6:21 pm    Post subject: Re: Hatch Lies 3 - The Resurrection Reply with quote

b0101_spread wrote:
This list will have you pooing in your shorty out there in total fear. You will be humming Iron Butterfly's:

"Beach-get-ouda-da-way-now-bay-bay".

And like all good lists, ours goes to 11. Add your own (you too isobars). We're not asking you, we're telling you dammit!



1- I graduated to 'The Hatch' last year.

2- You don't need to be able to gybe! It's all good!

3- It's shallow on the far side! It's all good!

4- Your board is smaller than my dick.

5- I am fully capable of sailing 'The Hatch'.

6- 'The Hatch' is all dickheads.

7- It's o.k. to park here all day and not sail.

8- I launch off the rocks.

9- I only have a 3.2

10- Tried to go up there, but I was on my formula board.

11- We're going to Dougs.



Iron Butterfly! Hilarious!

13) "My freinds are all beginners. I have to help them at the event site"
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stevenieve



Joined: 12 Aug 2008
Posts: 14

PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 11:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am visiting and have read the gorge guide. What does expert mean and is the fish hatchery really expert?
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andymc4610



Joined: 19 May 2000
Posts: 684

PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 11:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

expert for the hatch is the launch off bolders and days that are 3.5 winds other than that it not difficult. Hookipa's launch is more difficult.....
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wsmike



Joined: 07 Jun 2003
Posts: 412

PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 11:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with previous poster. The Hatch on a 4.7-5.7 day is no more advanced than any other venue in the gorge, but on 4.2 minus days be prepared for big swell and demanding conditions. If you're not comfortable sailing 4.2 or smaller, you'd probably have a much better time at the Event Site.
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hargrove



Joined: 10 Apr 2000
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 12:08 pm    Post subject: hatch theory Reply with quote

every summer about this time, the area of river around the hatchery becomes infested with large carnivorous alligators who have seemed to have developed a taste for canadian flesh.
My advice: stay at the event site and play bumper boards with the rest of the maple leafers.

don't ever forget about the alligators!
Ollie
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jsampiero



Joined: 20 Jun 2006
Posts: 677

PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 1:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I second WSMike's note.

Oddly enough, I think the hatch is one of the most feet friendly spots in the gorge to launch - nice big, flat rocks to put my feet on that don't hurt, and you can just hop off with dry toes right onto your board. If the water is low and you do have to step in the water... the ones underwater aren't nearly as slippery as say, Rowena, which has little painful pebbles and big slippery rocks under water.

Of course, it takes a few times to find *your* path at the hatch - but I've noticed most people find their little nook or cranny, and that's their launch every time, every day!

Now if i could just avoid my fin while ejecting ..... gyah....
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wsmike



Joined: 07 Jun 2003
Posts: 412

PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 2:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fully disagree about foot friendliness of the Hatch. That's the only spot I almost always wear my booties because I learned the hard way (cut up, slice n dice feet). Launch is fine but exit is the problem, lots of underwater garbage: sharp pointy rocks, broken glass, ivy stickers that get me almost every time. One cut up foot is enough to put me out for a week, just not worth it IMO.

Yet another reason to go to the Event Site, can't stress this enough! especially on 3.2-4.2 days, head on over to the Event Site for a nice leisurely cruise, soft sandy beaches, and beautiful, scantily clad young women!
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jingebritsen



Joined: 21 Aug 2002
Posts: 3371

PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This past trip I launched from kooks cove with a Kona 10'5 quite often. It was easy since I don't need no stinking wind to get going. :~) Swell rides were great. Gybatorium was wide open enough to join in the antics . Life was good. I did need some extra juice from a larger sail to get the thing comfortably lit. Others were on 4.0's and such, and I was using a 5.7 sail. Landing was even easier, just lay the sail down a bit before gliding into kooks. Step off a few feet from the pebble beach. Easy doings at the Hatch....

Macho Comacho things to say when sailing "4.0 conditions" at the Hatch with a Kona: "Take your skirt off and go sail!" "Get off your adz, and on the water, wind whiner." "The swell only looks mast high from the water start position."

One may think it's tough sailing at the Hatch, but how about the ocean during a gale with side on conditions? Esp. the frigid Pacific.
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tetiaroaxx



Joined: 06 Oct 2015
Posts: 225

PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 11:37 am    Post subject: Re: hatch theory Reply with quote

Smile

Last edited by tetiaroaxx on Thu Apr 17, 2014 5:50 pm; edited 1 time in total
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