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Windsurf wife- advice needed
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isobars



Joined: 12 Dec 1999
Posts: 20935

PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 4:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

EzzyCzar wrote:
I think most wives are fine with you taking off when it is windy until you have kids. It is easier for a grown up to understand that it is windy and dad needs to disappear then it is for kids.

So the real question is how do you get your family involved in outdoor time so that dad can windsurf and not neglect the kids and wife?


My bud above has three little kids. If the wife is at work when it's blowing, he gets a sitter or brings the kids along and puts them in a tent by the river. They love it, he can see them from the river, and dozens of his friends are watching over them. Everybody's happy.

Mike \m/
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mrgybe



Joined: 01 Jul 2008
Posts: 5180

PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I whinge and whine so much when there is no wind, that my wife is actually hoping for wind to get my sorry ass out the door. Be a pain when it's not windy and chipper after a session..........works like a charm!! However, never say you had a really great time...............always keep something in reserve............it may blow tomorrow!!
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waterminion



Joined: 23 May 2008
Posts: 6

PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

From a Woman's Point of View:

yes, i got my SO involved in the sport, but it wasn't like i didn't have plenty of days on the water by myself first. as a woman, i can tell you that some of us like to be involved and others like to be catered to. dragging someone out the door is not fun.

this year i am the one that can't keep up. we split the house chores and fix up needs, the other basic needs of dependents, and we even split up our sleep time. getting up at 4 am to get a few hours out on the water for a good morning session might mean i am tired for the rest of the day, but i can be home before noon and still take care of everything else. of course, my drive time is about fifteen minutes.

men can be just as annoying when it comes to their woman's interests. separate interests are healthy but having your SO with you on the water is just more fun. period.

i live where i live because of its proximity to the water. i married who i married because i am understood. i compromise on my own "other needs" in order to make sure everyone's needs are met. i chose my career for the freedom...etc...plan. the better you plan the more you can fit in and the happier everyone is.
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motherlyway



Joined: 01 Jun 2003
Posts: 3

PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 8:47 pm    Post subject: From the wife-addict Reply with quote

I, 'the wife', windsurfs while my husband does not. He tried for several years, but just never got it. But even after 16 years of marriage and two boys later, he still participates in his own way. We look at every windsurfing day or weekend as a 'family camping trip'. He stays on the beach with the boys, chats up people, drinks some beer, plays with the kids; the kids play on the beach; and I windsurf. We're all doing our thing, and we're all happy. We tend to choose more 'family-friendly' locations, and I come in often to say hi. We plan ahead to work around home chores, work, and other obligations. By including the whole family and shifting the mindset from "I'M going windsurfing" to "It's a family day/weekend (where Mom happens to be windsurfing)" has made it pretty easy for us.

By the way, it's our anniversary tomorrow. We're heading to the Gorge for the weekend Very Happy
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windfreak



Joined: 21 Apr 2008
Posts: 5

PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 11:19 pm    Post subject: Re: Windsurf wife- advice needed Reply with quote

Retire! Since I retired I can windsurf any time I like with no complaints. I've also built a house, so not 'working' gived=s you time for important things.

cruzanboard wrote:
Gotta ask the question of this group.
How to best handle a wife of a windsurf addict?

Not the extreme cases; wives that let you do anything,
or wives that want a divorce. Need advice for the wife
that sort of understands the need to 'skip on water' when the
wind arises, but still wants more help with home improvements,
more time with kids (or grand kids), or . . . (fill in the blank here).

Best I've got so far is, "need to do it when & while I can,
no guarantee with the future".
What has worked for others???

(to be gender appropriate, this also applies to addict wives with husbands.)
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andymc4610



Joined: 19 May 2000
Posts: 684

PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:05 am    Post subject: Re: From the wife-addict Reply with quote

motherlyway wrote:
I,

By the way, it's our anniversary tomorrow. We're heading to the Gorge for the weekend Very Happy


you lucked out, should be good this weekrnd...........
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saychad



Joined: 06 Jun 2008
Posts: 18

PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This thread is hilarious! Why hasn't anyone suggested a SOs' Iwindsurf Forum??? Imagine that for a moment. Twisted Evil
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elenna



Joined: 30 Apr 1998
Posts: 97

PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 3:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tell your wife that balance is the key and to focus on the times you are around. She needs to see windsurfing as a source of great joy, not a competitor, and be willing to give it to you. You need to be cognizant of the time you spend on the water and balance that with your family's needs. Find what gives your wife joy and give it to her.
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getwet



Joined: 07 May 2006
Posts: 12

PostPosted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 3:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great topic for discussion....and I can definitely relate. I am an addicted windsurfer with a non-windsurfer wife. I have tried explaining the how and why that goes with the sport but they don't get it (even after 8 yrs of marriage)
I have two kids, ages 1 & 4 which definitely makes it more difficult to get away when the wind is blowing. that's probably the hardest part for me.
(not to mention it's 3 hrs to the gorge from here!)

I see windsurfing as therapy, I love it...always have...always will. I make the drive whenever I can. Go ahead and windsurf when you want to, it is
our escape from the day-to-day grind of everything.

Good luck!
P.S-SOs' Iwindsurf Forum? That I would love to read!!!!!
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beallmd



Joined: 10 May 1998
Posts: 1154

PostPosted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 4:27 pm    Post subject: different take maybe Reply with quote

For a little different look at it, my wife married me when I was actively ski racing. That meant trips around the Colorado Rockies most weekends for most of 8 months a year including skiing from opening day to the last summer ski camps etc. She got to expert level and I'll never forget her skiing down a very steep section of a double black in a foot of powder linking turns. Then I went daffy over windsurfing. She stayed with it for a few years and got to straps, harness, crash jibe level but quit due to the hassle that windsurfing is and didn't like; "Putting on a cold, wet, slimey wetsuit." So she has some understanding, but I still have to remind her of who and what she married and that balance is the key. BTW her idea of "camping" is poolside at the Maui Sunset, and shower and dinner etc. She does work out a lot though and def looks better than me.
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