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Windsurf wife- advice needed
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cruzanboard



Joined: 14 Jun 2009
Posts: 57

PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 11:34 pm    Post subject: Windsurf wife- advice needed Reply with quote

Gotta ask the question of this group.
How to best handle a wife of a windsurf addict?

Not the extreme cases; wives that let you do anything,
or wives that want a divorce. Need advice for the wife
that sort of understands the need to 'skip on water' when the
wind arises, but still wants more help with home improvements,
more time with kids (or grand kids), or . . . (fill in the blank here).

Best I've got so far is, "need to do it when & while I can,
no guarantee with the future".
What has worked for others???

(to be gender appropriate, this also applies to addict wives with husbands.)
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watermonkey



Joined: 16 May 2003
Posts: 108

PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 12:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Swing by Safeway on the way home and pick up flowers. Not a huge, honkin' I'm-sorry-but-I-had-to-do-it bunch of roses, more of a I'm-still-thinking-of-you handful of irises.

Hire a handyman to clean the gutters or whatever.


Last edited by watermonkey on Thu Aug 20, 2009 12:34 am; edited 1 time in total
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airwave



Joined: 29 Jun 2000
Posts: 384

PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 12:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Took me a few years of taking her along to the sail sites that other wives, girls, etc sail at, but she finally got it. Now after three years of lessons, me rigging her gear, and sailing she is totally addicted, almost as much as I am and the scarry part is there are days she sailing past me. I have not gotten as much wave sailing time, more bay and river stuff to get through the learning curve but I expect to see that improve somewhat next season.

Be prepared to have to buy more gear ( - :
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Mulekick84



Joined: 18 Mar 2006
Posts: 406

PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 8:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Airwave has the only proven idea. I was in the doghouse routinely for 10 years. Going to the Gorge with my buddies for 2-3 weeks every summer, sending home presents, buying diamond earrings, expensive drapes, a BMW, anything to get my sailing in.

But, once she made the decision to learn, things have gone much easier. I bought her all her own fancy gear, Hot Sails Divas, lightweight boards, life jackets, helmet, etc etc. Then, take her to exotic locals with WARM water. That is a big Key to success. The Gorge in early June can be freezing to the little summer kitties. The Caribbean is the answer.

The other tip is luxury accommodations. Camping in a van down by the river, as much fun as that is, doesn't work. Something with a hot tub and a view and she'll let you skip out early for the Dawn Patrol at the Hatch. Then its back to the event site or Jenson Beach for the afternooner.

Pretty soon, she'll be underlining tips in your Windsurfing magazines and watching the weather channel. Perfect!
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rsanrafael



Joined: 27 Feb 2009
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 8:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't buy one.
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shahn1508



Joined: 19 Dec 2004
Posts: 37

PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 9:19 am    Post subject: Priorities. Reply with quote

Who calls the shots in your relationship? Come on, this is windsurfing after all. Reclaim your man-sack and don't worry about it. Hold on . . . "What's that honey? Take the kids to school? But it's blowin' at The Sign. Alright." Nevermind.
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nies



Joined: 08 Mar 2002
Posts: 40

PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 9:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK, My wife wouldn't take up windsurfing if you put a gun to her head. Here are a few things I have learned along the way for those who can't seduce their significant other into taking up the sport.

Try and keep the frustration associated with windless days to yourself. They don't want to hear it.

Don't hesitate to make a real effort when not sailing to help out around the house and most importantly attend your significant other, even if it's transparent it helps.

Windsurfing can stimulate a kind of euphoria and excitement that can be hard to contain and even harder to convey. Honesty, there are times that it is better not to let your mate know what a totally life changing session you had....they just don't get it.

If you trust the relationship to work, it will, insecurities are a source of trouble.

Back Rubs
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cruzanboard



Joined: 14 Jun 2009
Posts: 57

PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 9:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My otherwise wonderful wife doesnt swim and doesnt like the wind.
Not much chance of learning the sport in my case. Good idea though.

Yeah, put in max homestead effort when the wind is off makes sense.
So I'll plan the home projects this fall. Oh wait, I've got the experimental
airplane project for that off time. And the car restoration after that.

I think Im in trouble. Im just not understood.
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cgoudie1



Joined: 10 Apr 2006
Posts: 2377
Location: Killer Sturgeon Cove

PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 10:27 am    Post subject: Re: Windsurf wife- advice needed Reply with quote

My wife learned to windsurf, but the fire never caught hold, she hasn't
been on a board since 1991. I get in about 60-70 days of planing a year
if my health allows it.

Things to try

Anticipate Honey Dos and complete them before you go out.

Communicate, set up a program for successful completion of household/family endeavors with schedules and complete them on time.

You'd be amazed at how much time there really is to spend with your kids/grandkids, if you just make the time. Go to the Soccer Practice.

Be prepared to miss a good day, it pays wind dividends in the long run.

Bail when the chances for wind are low. You could just sit there
on the beach drinking, under a high pressure that has almost no
potential for a breath of wind, just in case, or you could spend quality
time your your SO.

Buy a condo in Hood River. Even though my wife doesn't sail, she loves it
there, and we hike or bike almost daily (in the Morning ;*) ).

Things to avoid.

Lying ;*)

Don't relay you're miserable skunk.

Don't buy new gear until you've replaced that worn out carpet, couch, drapes.........................................

Don't describe the Windsurfing Goddess you saw.


Ultimately my wife was enlightened enough to recognize that I'm happier
and healthier if I get a chance to Windsurf, and that actually benefits our
relationship.

-Craig




cruzanboard wrote:
Gotta ask the question of this group.
How to best handle a wife of a windsurf addict?

Not the extreme cases; wives that let you do anything,
or wives that want a divorce. Need advice for the wife
that sort of understands the need to 'skip on water' when the
wind arises, but still wants more help with home improvements,
more time with kids (or grand kids), or . . . (fill in the blank here).

Best I've got so far is, "need to do it when & while I can,
no guarantee with the future".
What has worked for others???

(to be gender appropriate, this also applies to addict wives with husbands.)
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isobars



Joined: 12 Dec 1999
Posts: 20087

PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 10:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A. What avid sportsman, male or female, would marry someone who doesn't like sports?

B. Solve the problem the way one of my buds has: Devote 1/3 of your time to career, 1/3 to family, 1/3 to windsurfing. Screw sleep; it's overrated. (It will bite him in the heart prematurely, but in the meantime he's doing a fantastic job of juggling.)

C. Move close to good sailing so it doesn't eat up so much time.

D. Go full tilt all the time; no time off for stupid stuff like TV or what you're doing right now. Career: 9 hours a day (8 + lunch + short commute) + house/yard/family stuff 6 hours + sleep 8 + meals 1 = 24 hours 5 days a week. That frees up 36 weekend hours for wind or for making up weekday shred time. See how easy it is ... in theory?

Mike \m/
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